I left the conversation kicking myself in the proverbial ass knowing only then what I SHOULD”VE said 15 minutes before! So much for showing off my quick wit and comprehension of the subject, I thought.
We’ve all been there. A feeling that we’ve lost the chance of getting the promotion, getting a good buy, impressing someone, or making someone laugh, by saying (or doing) the “wrong” thing.
An economist might call it Missed Opportunity Costs. The New Oxford American Dictionary defines it as “the loss of potential gain from other alternatives when one alternative is chosen”. In other words, I lost money when I chose A over B. I lost making a favorable impression when I said this instead of that. I should’ve taken the other job, or bought the other… The list is endless in our lives. Unfortunately we all do it.
It’s uncomfortable. It’s not needed, or healthy. Stop “shoulding” on yourself because:
- It’s just a Past scenario you keep replaying to yourself comparing choices that are no longer in front of you.
- It might just be your thoughts of what you think Someone Else Expected of you.
- It might just be “buyers remorse” in short term thinking that the value was higher in the un-taken choice.
- It feels uncomfortable because sometimes it’s just Inertia as you have to start some new Momentum as you go in a new direction.
- Most importantly, it’s not the end of the game, so don’t take score yet.
I believe the real problem in “shoulding” on yourself only comes from “knowledge scarcity”!
- You don’t Know what or how much is still ahead of you.
- You don’t Know how what happened is going to play out in the future.
- You don’t Know how it affected others that you may not even know about.
- You don’t Know if the lost “gain” would’ve changed a situation that you do like.
Without the knowledge that only the future and the Universe has, your perception of “missing an opportunity” is based only on a tiny fragment of information. Let your life keep unrolling.
Leave it alone if it is past. Look around. Look ahead.
Be aware of abundance. Appreciate the choice you made. There are endless more choices coming to you.
(image from halelrod.com)