Years ago I knew an annoyingly happy girl. Maybe you even know one. She used to bug me to no end with that “Rainbows and Roses” talk. She would always ask me “But, don’t you want to be happier?” I told her that I was happy, and I was more of a balance, life has both. “Balance? How’s that working for you?” she said.
She did have a point. Why was I allowing the negatives to ruin my positives?
It always made me think of the opposing Centripetal and Centrifugal forces. Tie a horseshoe on a string and swing it in a circle. The Centrifugal force keeps the head-knocker pushed outward. Slow down the speed, and Centripetal force will bring it inward and you’ll regret it! Keep them in balance, and what happens? The weight and you will spin in a circle. Nothing happens. Yawn…
I spent a good 40 years “in balance”. Swinging around on a rope keeping both positive and negative in my life, and I just kept going in circles. One force balanced the other one, and my path remained the same.
Balance created Comfortable Acceptance of both forces, that’s all. It felt “safe” knowing both would even out and my trajectory was the same circle that I had already created, and experienced. Known = Comfort.
But, what happens when you become out of balance? Life! Experiences! Surprises! Unexpected Synchronicties. Of course, your sense of joy or happiness will depend upon which force you allow out of balance.
If the force pulling Inward towards the Ego or Self wins, that horseshoe comes crashing down and you end up with a negative, “poor me” attitude, drawn in with doubt and fear, that collapses your “circle of life”.
If you let the forces of spirituality, flexible thinking, gratitude, optimism, awe, and laughter pull you Outward, then your circle of life expands. Senses become aware of new surroundings, new opportunities and an expanded circle of life.
One great way to let the force pull you Outward is to View things outside your immediate circle. (Remember Drivers Ed 101- You tend to steer towards what you are looking at.)
“Extremely happy people engage in regular activity which connects them to other people to a cause outside themselves,” explains Dr. Aiken (Wake Forest University School of Medicine.) “It doesn’t have to be a grand cause–the brain is just as happy to improve a local playground as it is to find a cure for cancer. What matters is that the cause is meaningful to you and helps you get you out of your own head.”
Look out beyond your balanced comfort. Allow the Centrifugal force to win.
Think of it as Letting go, rather than hanging on to something that’s negative. Release the resistance, to expand your life.