“Hey you. You gonna’ go, or what?” some younger kid shouted as I just enjoyed my view.
Wow, if I fell from here, it would be all over for me, I thought. Just to make sure I grabbed the rail on the High Dive ladder with all my might, as I felt the pressure to keep moving up.
As I lifted my left foot I thought I felt the ladder shift a little. Was that just my imagination? I hung a lot tighter to the metal, and kinda’ shifted up one more step. How many kids were on the ladder below me? I wasn’t gonna chance leaning away from the ladder to look. Now I was beginning to wonder if the pool had somehow changed while I was on the ladder because it sure did NOT look as big as as incredibly deep as it had earlier! In fact, it looked a little shallow to me from up here. Then I felt the breeze, and the freedom from the ground and remembered why I’d come. I wanted to feel that breeze and have this view. I made my statement, “Here I am”, as people below me watched, and probably wished they could do what I have done. I love the view from here.
With the greatest muscles and guts I ever had, I pulled myself up that last step. I shimmied up onto the diving board, and held like concrete to the steel rail as I looked around. Absolutely amazing, WOW. THIS was the best view! I could see over the fences, and I had most everyone in the pool looking up to me. Is this what it was like to be King or President? Or even GOD? I mean, I was WAY up here, looking down at everyone! What a feeling! I was even higher than the life guard! Guess that made ME boss, now- didn’t it?
But, was the board supposed to be this shaky? It never looked this wobbly from down there! Thoughts, mostly fears, swarmed through my head. What was I thinking that had sent me up here? Wasn’t I, just a few minutes ago, down there wading around safely and silently peeing in the pool? Why had I left that secure feeling down there? Did I even have a choice? As I thought about it, as I admired the breeze up here, it seemed more like some inner drive had really just pushed me up here.
“Come on, hurry it up!” one kid shouted. “What’s the matter, you chicken?” I heard another voice say (Ah, man, that wasn’t my Dad was it?) Yes, I’ll jump. But WOW, this is the absolutely best view possible. I love it. It’s everything I wanted.
Let me just stay here. I’m on top of the world. I had conquered my fears, and made it here. Stop pushing and rushing me! You’ll all get your chance, too. I’d spent enough time down there where things were all on one level, and my sight was limited. Allow me the moments to enjoy what I’ve worked for. Stop pushing me! Wow, could I actually just reach up and touch a cloud? I didn’t want it to change. I absolutely loved this view the most.
“You got 3 seconds before I come up there and push you in” some fat kid yelled up at me.
I enjoyed a last 3 seconds. I saw so many things I’d never seen from down there. It all looked so different from this angle! I didn’t want it to change. I wasn’t willing to lose it all, and jump. But I did.
What an exhilarating rush! Like nothing I’d ever felt. Weightless. Pure excitement as my fears let go and I just sailed. My focus blurred as time and space just rushed past me, thru me, and I felt things l didn’t expect to feel. Till I hit the water and went deep into it.
WOW! How deep was this water? This is so totally cool! The voices above sound differently here. Everything looks different than it had just a moment before. So silent. So “senseless”. My body feels “changed” and “floaty” in here. I feel one with the material all around me. This is so incredible. The things I can see NOW!
I don’t want it to change!